Hanging at the edges of our awareness are filaments of desire that seldom come into our full consciousness. Along with these filaments are bold strokes of energy that hold back the tiny rebellious mavericks of independent thought or aspiration.
While exploring varied methods of expunging previous unconscious programming of my own, I came across this corral of aspirations for myself. The corral was littered with the bodies of unexplored desires, no longer able to live without proper nourishment. I looked up from each of these dead-before-their-time pursuits to see a dark flash of energy pulse. Outside that corral the unconscious programming police flexed their muscles to show off their power.
I know all about the “Tyranny of the Should” and understand its pervasive qualities. Each time we say “I should be, I should do, I should think, etc.” programming flexes its biceps. Each time we want to pursue a path of discovery/exploration and begin filling our own heads with reasons why we can’t do it, we’ve bumped into one of those body builders on our mental beach.
And each time we come across a major fear concerning a new venture we intend to begin, alarms go off and try to stop us. Case in point: finishing one project and beginning something new, or beginning a new relationship with anyone, or declaring one’s independence from a family, old job, or what-have-you.
For me recently, it’s been launching a Kindle book. It’s the first time for me to launch my own work. I don’t have a safety net. I’m not sure I know enough yet to feel safe and competent doing a launch and being successful. And on and on.
Anxiety bubbles up, excuses for putting off the project come out of the woodwork to blast me with dark rationale. Unforeseen events expand in scope to create excellent excuses to lean on, in case I run out of my own.
Everyone goes through this at one time or another. While we live in ignorance of our self-sabotage, conflict can be pushed far to the rear. (I often wonder if that isn’t what really causes middle-age spread.)
When we become more aware of our minds’ inner workings, rationale, and controlling programming, conflict arises to challenge us for our own futures, our lives. We talk about awareness often. For many, though, that ability comes in stages or types.
We can be aware of our surroundings; to hear sounds as they occur, take note of visual cues that would otherwise be filtered out by our subconscious minds, notice aromas and the surface beneath our feet. To me that’s one level of awareness. I learned that level many years when my eyesight was terribly compromised.
Far above that level is an awareness of our minds’ inner workings. This level is comprised of our thoughts as they occur, our responses—both physical and emotional—to events around us, and our rationales, excuses, prejudices, etc. as they pertain to the first two elements. Few, I should imagine, have succeeded in eliminating the subconscious programming that has controlled behavior for so long.
That inner struggle for supremacy is what I have engaged in for the past few months and will continue to aspire toward. I never liked control from the outside. Now I’m taking the opportunity to sever the tethers and rid myself of mental action police that prevent me from growing as a person and a writer. That is my goal before anything else.
I haven’t chosen an easy task, but little of worth is ever easy. I’d like to hear from those who have charged themselves to pursue this path of self-knowledge and hear their tales of success or struggle.
- Clear Your Subconscious and Increase Abundance (washdctc.wordpress.com)
- The real secret to generating subscribers and conversions- PART 2!!!! (sinergist.wordpress.com)
- How Do You Unlock the Barriers to Your Potential? (projecteve.com)
- Are you ready to reveal your hidden bias? (clarelong.wordpress.com)
- Writing at the Speed of the Unconscious (creativitypost.com)
- It’s not about change! (lifecoachbydesign.wordpress.com)
- My Subconscious is Lit. (hong-ikhumanity.org)