Today, we are being asked to read the Five Promises article. Based on the information found within, we are to craft the first 5 pages of a story fulfilling the 5 promises: character, voice, the world, a problem, and an event.
The premise I would like to write about is:
A detective loses his partner in action and is forced to take on a new partner and a new case or he loses his job and with that, the health benefits which are currently paying for his daughter’s battle with cancer.
All contributions for this challenge can be accessed through here.
Day 13 Response (a rough draft)
“Welcome back, Peter. Are you feeling better now?”
Peter Krill heard those words and dodged the question with a non committal shrug as he entered his office. He looked around the office and saw that his desk had been organized. He wearily approached his chair and sat down. He closed his eyes and remembered how the office used to be. One could always count on the distinct smell of tea as it steeped in Shannon’s cup. It was almost like before except Shannon wasn’t coming back. She died in his arms in the line of duty.
Peter shuddered at the goriness of his last memory of Shannon. He did not want to see that image again. Not of Shannon and her blood drenched chest and the three gaping holes left by the bullets. Not of him cradling her and calling for help trying to will life into her inert body.
He looked up when there was a soft knock on the door. It was Miss Markley, Director Pfeiffer’s assistant.
“Welcome back, Peter. Director Pfeiffer would like to meet you. I have your coffee already made. It’s waiting for you upstairs.”
“Why, thanks, Miss Markley. I’ll go up and see him. Do you suppose you could make me some tea instead?”
“I did not know you drank tea. What kind? Earl Grey? Green Tea?”
“Look, just make me some of Shannon’s tea.” he said as he left the room.
He decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. He figured he had less of a chance of running into people that way. He took a deep breath as he opened the hallway door for level 5. He forced a smile on his face as he entered Director Pfeiffer’s office.
“Welcome back, Peter. I bet you’re pretty tired of hearing that by now. Hang in there. Life can get better.” Director Pfeiffer assured Peter.
“Thank you for the welcome, Sir. But what did you want to see me about?”
“Well, Peter. There’s been a murder and not a run-of-the-mill one at that. I believe the Bureau will need your help on this one. Daniel Steadman, a lead researcher for MyChai Corp was murdered the night before his grand jury testimony against his employer. Daniel was being protected at his house by the Bureau. There were two agents stationed in the hallway just outside his bedroom door. There was no sign of breaking and entering. No one was caught asleep on their shift. When the agent went in to check on Daniel in the morning, he found him dead!”
“Wait, so no one saw anything suspicious?”
“What about the murder weapon? Did you find it?”
“I see where my investigation style can help with this case. But what exactly is MyChai Corp?”
“Peter, MyChai makes the tea that you are drinking right now. One more thing, you will be working with Eileen Gibson. She is fresh out of Quantico and there is a push from top that she be partnered with you.”
“I thought you were watching out for me, Director. I can’t do this. Shannon had seven years in the Bureau. She was a pro and still, she was killed. How do you expect me to deal with a green agent? I don’t want to work here. I don’t have to help you on this case!” Peter said as he slammed his fist on the desk. Outraged, he got up to leave and saw the Director block his way.
“Peter, I know you are mad. You have every right to be. But you can’t leave now. Not when your daughter’s chemo treatment is being covered by our health plan. Think of Emmy, Peter. You are doing this for her and no one else.”
“For Emmy… then.” Peter said in a flat, quiet voice as he left the room. He felt as deflated and beaten as he sounded.
When Peter got back to his office, he found Eileen Gibson there waiting for him. She was sitting at the desk that used be Shannon’s.
She looked up and said “Hello, I’m Eileen Gibson and you must be Peter Krill.”
“I know. Look, I don’t know if you know but a really great agent and friend used to sit at the desk you are sitting at now. Always remember that. I am going to work with you because I have to not because I want to. Is that clear?” Peter carried on regardless of how uncomfortably Eileen squirmed.
“Show me the case file.”
With that, Peter began the investigation in earnest. His first request was to visit the crime scene. He found the chalk marks indicating how the body was sprawled beside the bedroom window.
He looked closer at the window and noticed that it was locked from the inside. He also noticed some scuff marks on the outside windowsill. He called Eileen over to see if she could notice the same thing.
“Eileen, do you see the scratch marks on the outside windowsill?”
“Now that you mention it, I do. I remember that sort of thing happening when my Dad was trying to line up a long ladder against the side of our house and Mom getting mad at him.”
“Eileen, not bad. That’s was my thought as well. The perp must have used a ladder against the wall to gain access to the room.”
“Peter, it would make sense that no one saw anything. This wall faces a greenway. There is no street access, so the Bureau car wouldn’t have seen anything.”
“Well, this leaves the matter of getting in. How did the perp get in and not cause Daniel to panic and call for help? It has to be one of two things, Eileen. Either, Daniel was fast asleep when the perp entered through the window or Daniel knew the perp and then things turned ugly.”
“Peter, there is one catch. The agents made sure the window was locked before Daniel went to bed and it was still locked when he was found in the morning.”
“I’ll have to think on that one. How about we go visit MyChai Corp and see what we can learn about the late Daniel Steadman’s work.”
Peter and Eileen headed over to MyChai Corp. Walking into the building was like walking into a top secret government facility. Peter noticed the austere lobby and the numerous security officers verifying badges and operating metal detectors. Flashing his FBI Badge, he asked if he could talk to someone at the company regarding Daniel Steadman. The security officer suggested that Peter and Eileen may talk to Ben Jamison.
Peter and Eileen were escorted to a massive conference room where they came upon ten corporate lawyers and one Ben Jamison.
“Welcome agents, I am Ben Jamison and I understand you want to learn about Daniel Steadman’s work.”